Happy Birthday, William!

Dear William,

Today you are one year old! I think this has simultaneously been the fastest and the longest year in mine and your Daddy's lives. It has also, without a doubt, been one of the best. And scariest. And most fun. You have brought more joy into our home than we even knew was possible. We love you so much!

You are at such a fun age right now. You learn new things every day and constantly make us laugh.

• You pull up on anything that is remotely stable and cruise like a pro. Occasionally, you get this look in your eye like you might turn loose and try out walking, but you haven't yet.
• "Bird" is officially your first (and favorite) word. You say it whenever you hear or see a bird (or anything you think might be a bird, including police sirens and leaves blowing through the air).
• You also say "banana" (ma-MA-ma), "mama," and "bye-bye" (ba). You also wave most of the time you say bye.
• If you want to go outside, you beg to be held and then start waving and saying bye. You LOVE to be outside. If you can't be outside, you like to position yourself at our front window so you can at least keep an eye on things.
• You can clap your hands, pat your tummy, and touch your nose on command. You also clap your hands anytime anyone says "Yay!" or "Good job!"
• For the longest time we thought you were never going to crawl on your hands and knees. But now we know that you can because we've seen you do it, but only occasionally because you're just much faster on your tummy!
• As a testament to our family's lifestyle right now, you love to play with suitcases. Especially ones with handles that go up and down. 
• You love to play with cars and almost always make the motor noise as you drive them across the floor. You have also been known to "drive" your food across your highchair tray.
• Daddy taught you a fun game a few weeks ago while he was "teaching" you to fall down in your crib (aka knocking you down). Now when you wake up from your naps we often find you pulling up and falling down over and over again all by yourself. You crack yourself up!
• We didn't teach you this intentionally, but every time someone says "hello!" you put your hand to your ear like you're answering the phone.
• You are a really good eater! You love food so much that, whenever you see food that you want, you say "Mmmmmmmm!" A few weeks ago you even did it during the Lord's Supper at church.
• You sign "more," "all done," and "eat." I think I've seen you sign "ball," "car," "shoes," and "dog," too, but I'm not 100% sure yet.
• In an effort to teach you not to throw your sippy cup on the floor during meal time, I started clapping and making a huge celebration of it when you or anyone else put your cup in the cup holder on your high chair. You love to be praised, so now, usually once during every meal time, you will pick up your cup just a bit and shift it around in its holder and then look at me and start to clap, waiting for me to praise you. You usually do this at least 10 times in a row before you tire of it. 
• You think hiccups are hilarious!

As your personality develops more and more, I can't help but be so excited for the future. I can't wait to see what kind of (little) man you become. 

Your Daddy and I love you, sweet boy! Happy Birthday!

1 day old

1 week before his first birthday

Midnight Musings

William hasn't been sleeping well at night lately. I think he's going through some sort of weird phase because he's also been cranky and clingy during the day and fighting his naps, too. Let's just say that I hope this phase end really really soon! When I talk to other moms, a lot of them mention similar phases around the 1-year mark. Why wasn't I warned?

Anyway, all these hours spent awake during the middle of the night have yielded some silly, introspective, pointless, and profound (or at least they seem profound at 3:00 in the morning) thoughts that I thought I would write down:

• "I Need the Every Hour," the hymn that kept running through my head as a prayer/meditation for strength and patience, could also have been William's mantra for the last week. Get it? Because he needed me every hour?
• I am very thankful for the promise in Scripture that my Father never slumbers or sleeps. Nor does he need to.
• I turn into a complete softie when Michael is out of town.
• Having an almost one-year old is kind of like having a newborn. Because of being up all night. Also, my almost one-year old eats 6 times in a 12 hour period.
• I have a hard time with silence. And solitude. And being still.
• I have changed A LOT in the last year.
• I require A LOT less sleep than I thought a year ago.
• The original hardwood floors in our 1950s house sure are pretty, but they are not your ally when you're trying to sneak out of your child's room once he's finally fallen asleep.

I seem to think that there were others, but they escape me at the moment. Aside from the fatigue, I've actually enjoyed these last few nights of extra snuggle time with my little man. He is so high energy and always on the move during the day that having him still and quiet in my arms is pretty nice.

2012 Resolutions

Happy 2012, everyone! But, seriously...what happened to 2011? I feel like most of the year passed in either a pre-baby preparation frenzy or a post-baby sleep deprived haze. Anybody feel me? I don't think I even bothered making any resolutions for 2011. Since I had no idea what the year was going to be like, I guess I didn't see the point. Well, I'm not doing that again this year! And because I do much better with goals that are written down, I figured I'd publish my 2012 resolutions here.

1. Get Healthy

Normally, this resolution would be worded differently: "Lose Weight." However, I think I've finally made my peace with the fact that I'm probably not going to lose the rest of my pregnancy weight until William is weaned (and that is hopefully still several months away). And, Lord willing, I'll get pregnant again at some point this year and losing weight and pregnancy don't really go together. So, I decided to resolve to "get healthy" and choose to take smaller measures to make that happen that are attainable in my current life stage and will benefit me whether I'm nursing, working hard to lose weight, or pregnant.

• Drink 64 oz. of water each day
• Eat 5-6 servings of fruits and vegetables each day
• Get 30 minutes of moderate exercise 3-4 times a week
• Take my multivitamin every day (I forget this a lot)

2. De-clutter/Simplify my house

I'm planning to follow this calendar from MySimplerLife as a guide, but I'm under no illusions that I will complete every day, or even the majority of the days. Tomorrow, for example, I'm supposed to set up a donation station, but I will probably spend the majority of my day tomorrow trying to finally get Christmas decorations put away (don't judge me...my sister had a baby last week so today is the first day I've been home since Christmas). But, as part of this resolution, I'm resolving not to stress out if I miss a day here and there on the calendar. I figure if I just do one day a month I'll do more than I would have done otherwise, right? My ultimate goal is for everything in our house to have a place that it belongs (and "in that stack on the counter" is not an acceptable place for anything to belong).

3. Teach William to fall asleep for naps on his own

I know, I know. He's 8 months old and I still rock him to sleep for his naps. I should be ashamed, right? Well, I'm not. He's such a great night time sleeper that teaching him to fall asleep on his own for naps has not been anywhere close to the top of my list of priorities. And I love the cuddle time. But now I figure he's old enough to figure it out and, once he learns to do it, it will free some time up in my day. Also, it will make it much easier to leave him with a sitter.

4. Show hospitality more regularly

I love having people in my home, but I am awful at making it happen on a regular basis. Whether it's failing to offer an invitation or failing to be prepared for spontaneous opportunities to open our home, I just don't do a great job at making this happen. I would like to have people in our home more, whether it's just having some other moms and their kiddos over for coffee and a play date or throwing a fun dinner party. And I want to be better about keeping my home ready for hospitality: tidy (but not obsessively perfect) and stocked (simple drinks on hand, a brownie mix in the pantry).

5. Have 1 date night with Michael each month

We have been awful about having date nights since William. We have had 2 since April. That's 2 in 8 months. Not so great. So we're resolving together to have at least 1 date night a month. Anybody want to babysit? :)

6. Spend time each day in dedicated prayer and Bible reading

Again, this is an area where I have had zero consistency in the last 8 months. But, realizing that none of the goals listed above are profitable or attainable if attempted in my own strength, I want to set aside time each day to read the Word and pray, whether it's 3 minutes or 30.

Well, there they are. Feel free to ask me how things are going at any time. :)

And if you want to read some really great thoughts of making New Year's Resolutions, check on this blog.

All the Little Things

Dear William,

You are 6 months old now. It's hard to believe that you've been in our lives for half of a year! Even though you're still a little baby, you are growing so much and so quickly and I find myself missing your tiny newborn snuggles and sounds. I'm so afraid that I'll forget all these sweet things as you grow and change. There are so many little things that I never want to forget.

We are thinking of nicknaming you "No Nap Willie," even though we said that we never wanted anyone to call you Willie. :) But seriously, you aren't a great napper. You sleep really well at night, but even though I can tell that you are exhausted during the day you have a hard time sleeping for more than 30 minutes at a time. You usually wake up happy so I let you play and talk in your bed for awhile before getting you up. I guess I have this silly idea that you might fall back to sleep. Crazy, I know. Anyway, these days your favorite thing to do while you're waiting for me to get you up is to pull off your socks and chew on them. Almost every time I get you up from your nap I find you with a soaking wet sock in your mouth.

You love baby food, especially sweet potatoes. You get so excited when I'm feeding you that you starts shoving your bib in your mouth trying to eat it. Also, at least once during a feeding, I put the spoon full of baby food to your mouth and you blow into it. Food goes everywhere, but mostly up your nose. It makes me giggle to thing that everything probably smells like sweet potatoes (or apples, or green beans, or squash) for the rest of the day.

When I nurse you and you're not sleepy, you spend most of the time grabbing your foot with your hand and straightening and bending your leg over and over in some sort of weird, baby Pilates move. It's cute, but you sure are wiggly and distracted so nursing takes longer than it should.

My hair has become your favorite toy within the last few weeks. You play with it while you're nursing, while I'm changing your diaper, while I'm rocking you before putting you down for your nap...pretty much any time it's within arms reach for you. My favorite, though, is when you lay your head down on my shoulder and run your fingers through my hair as you fall asleep.

You started rolling over really well about a month ago. Since then, you've adopted two new sleep positions: on your right side in a perfect "L" shape or face down on your tummy. And I mean literally face down. You don't turn your head even a little, just bury your face in the mattress. It still makes me a little nervous that you do that because I think you're going to suffocate, but I figure the only thing I can do about it is sit by your bed all night long and flip you to your back over and over again. And, let's face it, I'm not going to do that. :)

Oh, how you love bath time! I think it must tickle a little bit when I scrub your legs and feet because you grin and laugh every time. You are completely fascinated when I pour water over your fingers and onto your tummy. You can't figure out why you can't grab the water like you grab everything else.

I love to hear you laugh. You have this great belly laugh when you really get going. You laugh the most when you're tired and no one can get you to laugh like your Daddy.

You are such a friendly baby! You show absolutely no fear of strangers so far. You are in heaven when you are surrounded by people who are paying attention to you and passing you around. Every once in awhile, though, you'll take a quick look around, just to make sure Daddy or I are still nearby.

You have such a bright and quick smile. You still have no teeth, so your smile is all gums. When you smile really big, you can see the outline of your front bottom teeth that will be coming in soon.

You love music and I sing to you all the time. We sing silly songs mostly, because you prefer tunes that are upbeat. If you're fussing, usually all it takes to snap you out of it is for me to start singing. "You Are My Sunshine" is probably your favorite song, though "The Wheels On the Bus" is way up there on the list, especially Daddy's special version.

Daddy and I think that you will be an early talker because you are already so verbal. Your favorite sound is "ma ma ma ma." You say it over and over again and you make the sound by tucking your bottom lip way into your mouth under your top gums. You look so funny! Even though I know you're not saying "Mama," I always try to respond when you say it so that you'll learn that that's what to call me. :)

It's bittersweet to watch you grow. It's sad knowing that, with each passing day, you're becoming less and less like that tiny little baby that was completely dependent on me and wanted to snuggle all the time. But each new accomplishment is so exciting and I can't wait to see the person you'll become. Your Daddy and I love you so much. Being your Mama is the best job I've ever had!

Mama

Look Alikes

Every couple does it.

You spend hours (in my case about 36) in labor, giving birth to your sweet little baby. The nurse hands him to you, all wrapped up like a burrito, and you begin examining him. Ten fingers. Ten toes. A cone head (thanks to aforementioned long labor). And then you look at each other and ask, "who does he look like?"

William has never really looked a whole lot like Michael or me. When he was first born, I could see some similarities between he and Michael, especially when I looked at Michael's baby pictures. Michael tells me that William has my smile. But the family resemblance has never been overwhelming. It was never really clear who he looked like.

Until now. Check this out:

Yes, my dad is in a dress...

Maybe it's just because I'm with William all day, every day and see all of his various expressions, but I see my dad written all over him! And that's not a bad thing, either. Check out what a cute kid my dad was:

A Letter

Dear William,

I have been your Mommy for two months now. It's pretty unbelievable how much life has changed, how much I have changed, in such a short period of time.

I can't believe that, no matter how exhausted I am, I'm actually happy to see the tiny human who wakes me up in the middle of the night.

I can't believe how captivated I am by you, how delighted I am by your smiles and coos, and how obsessed I can be by little things like how many ounces you eat or how many times a day you poop.

I can't believe that you seem to time those giant poops for 5 minutes after your Daddy leaves the house. Every. Single. Time.

I can't believe that caring for one little person can be so difficult. I can't believe that something so difficult can be so much fun.

I can't believe that I come up with new, ridiculous nicknames for you almost daily. Today it was "Punky Brewster", a take off of "punk", which I believe is short for "punkin'". It's sad that, though your name is William, you will probably grow up thinking that your name is "Buddy" if your Daddy and I have anything to do with it.

I can't believe how much I love you.

I love how you move your arms and legs like crazy whenever you're on your back. I sometimes think that you'd take off crawling if I just turned you over.

I love how you call for me whenever I leave the room. Thanks for calling and not crying.

I love how your eyes cross when you try to see the bubbles that you're blowing out of your mouth.

I love how you try to chew on your clothes as I slip them over your head to dress you every morning.

I love how your hungry cries quickly change to "yum yum" noises as soon as you start eating. I also love how you ball up your little fists and hold them tucked under your chin while you eat. It makes you look so earnest.

After I feed you right before bed, I love how you let out this enormous burp and then melt into my chest in a deep, peaceful sleep. That burp, by the way, seems like it should be way too big for someone so small.

I love how you can now be soothed just by the sight of Mommy or Daddy. It's amazing how quickly your wailing can change to smiling when we peek over the side of your crib. You're such a faker sometimes. :-)

I love how adding you to our family has made me love your Daddy more. I wasn't expecting that.

I am so thankful that the Lord picked us to be your Mommy and Daddy!

Love,

Mommy

Pregnancy Reflections

Things I'll Miss About Being Pregnant

• Not being on a diet for the first time in recent memory
• Related to the above, eating as many hamburgers as I want without feeling (too) guilty
• Also related to the above, eating Nutella straight out of the jar without feeling guilty
• Feeling the baby move
• Michael's pregnancy jokes
• The knowledge that I'm growing a tiny human
• The anticipation of a totally new season of life
• Dreaming with Michael about what life as a family of three will be like
• A new wardrobe
• People occasionally giving up their seats for me
• Planning and shopping for the baby
• Having an excuse to get pedicures
• Ice cream being a perfectly acceptable source of calcium
• Watching Michael prepare to become a dad (a job he's totally going to rock, by the way)
• The cute preggo belly (you know, the non-obnoxious one you have from about months 5-7?)
• Awesome fingernails

Things I Won't Miss About Being Pregnant

• Heartburn
• Insomnia
• Becoming intimately acquainted with the restroom of every store/business I visit
• Maternity jeans
• Pregnancy face (ladies, you know what I'm talking about!)
• Heartburn
• Getting kicked in the ribs, kidneys, bladder, [insert internal organ here]
• Perfect strangers feeling entitled to ask about the ins and outs of my pregnancy, including (but not limited to) whether I'll be delivering naturally or getting an epidural, whether I'll breast or bottle feed, if I'm nervous about having my first child when I'm "so old", etc.
• Perfect strangers feeling obliged to share their childbirth horror stories with me
• My walk being gradually replaced by a waddle
• Not being able to sleep on my stomach
• Heartburn