Hattie's Birth Story

Hattie was due April 10. Since both our other kids were born right around their due dates (William the day before his and Hope the day after hers), we were prepared for Hattie to come right on time. Or, better yet, early! April 10 came and went with nary a sign of labor. Zilch. Nothing. Nada. I made multiple “last” trips to the grocery store. I meticulously kept every article of clothing washed, dried, and put away. I made freezer meals. I made more freezer meals. I played in the rain with my kids and took them to get ice cream. I managed to squeeze in a hair cut for Hope. And I tried to maintain the deep clean of the house I had paid for at 39 weeks and was just SO ANNOYED at how dirty the baseboards were getting before we even had a chance to bring baby home.

The one thing I didn’t do? I didn’t really do anything crazy to try to get labor to start. Thankfully, having gone into labor on my own twice before, I was reasonably confident that my body would eventually get with the program and she would come when she was ready. Yes, the waiting game was annoying. But, honestly, if I hadn’t had to deal with other people during that time, I think I would have been totally fine. So, just as a little PSA, if you know a Mama who is close to (or past) her due date, maybe don’t ask her if she’s “had that baby yet?” :)

I really only had two real concerns prior to Hattie’s birth. One was that I had tested positive for Group B Strep at my 37 week appointment. We had decided that I would receive IV antibiotics during labor (the standard, precautionary treatment for GBS which can be deadly for infants) when some attempts at getting rid of it naturally didn’t work. The catch? For the antibiotics to be effective, you really need 2 doses, spaced 3 hours apart, before the baby is born. Hope’s delivery was so quick, I was worried that there wouldn’t be time to get the antibiotics if Hattie’s birth followed suit. I also tend to have a few nights of “warm up” contractions before the real thing. I was praying, and had friends praying, that the Lord would give me wisdom and discernment to know when it was time to go to the birth center.

The other was that my beloved doula/photographer’s wedding was April 18. So, if I wanted her to attend my birth-and I REALLY wanted her to attend my birth-I needed to have this baby by the 17th. Yes, she is so amazing that she was willing to be at my birth up to 12 hours before her wedding day. SURELY I wouldn’t be more than a week overdue. Right?

April 17 was a Friday. It was a pretty normal day. The kids and I went to a birthday party that morning and I kind of wore myself out. Our sitter came that afternoon and hung out with the kids so I could rest. I had some contractions off and on through the afternoon but I kept pounding water to make sure they weren’t due to dehydration from being outdoors all morning. I also spent some time that day talking back and forth with my doula. She had arranged for a backup doula as well as a backup photographer so, even though I was sad that she would not be at Hattie’s birth, I knew all those bases were covered.

Contractions started to pick up around the kids’ bedtime. I showered and got our things together just in case. Around 9:30 I knew that we I would want to head to the birth center soon if contractions didn’t fizzle out. I called our sitter to come stay with the kids and let my midwife and doula know that we would be heading out around 11:00. When we left, I felt completely silly for going so early. I still wasn’t even sure I was actually in labor. I was talking/walking/thinking normally. But my contractions were every 5 minutes and had been for the last couple of hours so I did what I thought was best. I kept apologizing to Michael and our midwife, Christy, for probably causing everyone a lot of undue stress and lack of sleep because I was just sure we were going to show up at the birth center and everything was going to stop and we’d have to go home.

We arrived at the birth center a little after 11:00 PM. I was still having contractions but, again, was talking, joking, and acting normally between them. I could still talk through them at that point. But since they were still coming regularly we decided to settle in and treat this like it was the real thing. Our doula, Alexa, arrived around midnight. It was the first time I had met her and I instantly loved her. For the rest of the night, Michael and Alexa were always right there, taking care of everything I needed, many times anticipating what I would need before I even asked.

My first dose of antibiotics went in at 12:18. I ate a snack, sat on the birth ball, chatted, had some contractions. Nothing too intense yet. There was a dresser in our birth suite that was the perfect height for me to lean on when standing through contractions so I did that for awhile. Alexa used a rice wrap to apply heat to my lower back and that was miraculous. The birth suite was dark and quiet, I had my diffuser going (Valor + Frankincense = the best labor diffuser combo evah), it was all really peaceful and wonderful. Around 2:30 I was starting to get more uncomfortable and decided to get in the water. Before I got in the tub I had another snack. During our prenatal appointments, Christy had suggested I bring some homemade chicken broth with me to the birth center to have as as a snack during labor. I thought, “no way will I want that during labor but I’ll make it anyway.” I made it, took it with me, and it was THE BEST SNACK. Exactly what I wanted and needed!

The water felt amazing! I wasn’t sure how I would like the tub but as soon as I got in I knew it would be hard to get me out. I didn’t get to enjoy it for long, though, because things started picking up almost as soon as I got in the water. I loved the water, but being in the tub was a little awkward. I couldn’t get comfortable. Duh. I was in labor. But in my mind, I kept working to find comfortable position. Ha!

The next hour or so was almost sacred. It’s difficult to put words to it. One of my midwives, Jamie, came in every 20 minutes or so to monitor Hattie but, for the most part, it was just me, Michael, and Alexa in the tub room. It’s a beautiful, intimate space. Candles set the mood. Hymns played on my phone in the background. I lost all sense of time. I was totally relaxed and at peace. I was IN it, given over to the process. I felt like I was the only one in the room. I remember singing along with Kari Jobe’s “Be Still My Soul” as things continued to intensify. It was so intimate. The Lord’s presence was so real to me in those moments.

Contractions were long, hard, and right on top of one another for what seemed like forever. What’s taking so long? Why hasn’t my water broken? I’m probably only like 4 cm dilated. These are all thoughts going through my head at that point. Christy started my second round of antibiotics at 3:35. Strangely, almost as soon as the abx went in, I got a break. I remember almost falling asleep at one point. Looking back, I think I had already gone through transition and my body was laboring down a bit, preparing to push. As soon as the bag of abx finished I said “I need to push.” Christy told me later that she thinks my body was actually just waiting to push until it was time. I needed to get that second dose to be able to feel ready and move on to the next part of the process.

Oh, pushing. I thought I loved pushing. I loved pushing with Hope’s birth. It was relief. It was short (3 pushes and she was out). It was great! Not exactly the same experience this time around. I did NOT love pushing. It was NOT relief. It was NOT short, at least from my perspective. In reality, I pushed for about 15 minutes. But it felt like 15 years.

At some point, the room filled with people (2 midwives, birth assistant, and photographer, in addition to Michael and Alexa). I never knew when my water broke (Christy told me later that it broke while I was pushing). I regret being so out of it. My body was doing its own thing and I was just along for the ride. I didn’t realize that Hattie was out until I felt her on my chest. And then she was here! What a surreal moment. One moment there were 7 people in the room (yeah, it was a little crowded), and the next there were 8! On April 18 at 4:22 AM, Hattie Grace Sawilowsky entered the world.

We stayed in the tub for awhile letting her cord pulse out and the placenta be delivered. Then we all made our way back to the bed. I was examined (no tearing!), Hattie nursed like a champ, she had her newborn exam. She was perfect and we were in love. We enjoyed our herbal bath and then got ready to go home. I was exhausted but was high on endorphins and ready to get home to my other babies. Hattie was born at 4:22 a.m. and we were home by 7:30. Crazy! We arrived right after my parents go to our house and just as William and Hope were waking up for the day.

It was a beautiful birth. Everything I wanted (and didn't even know I wanted). And now, I kinda want to do this again. Please don't tell my husband. ;)